We Are a Family

Time is such a strange concept when you think about it. As I look back on my time here in NYC, time seems to be contradicting itself in my mind. On one hand, it is so weird to think about how a month ago, I had no idea who most of these people were. All of us on this summer project have grown so close in such a short amount of time, it is really unbelievable to me. We are a family. These people, who were strangers to me not that long ago, are now some of my closest friends. We have all been through such an amazing experience together and have grown to know and love each other so deeply. Because of this strong bond between all of us, it feels like we have been living together for a year! Every single day has been so jam-packed that we have all come to the conclusion that one day on this project is equal to about four days outside of project.

On the other side of the clock however, this adventure has seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. It has gone by so fast that we keep having to remind each other that we really do have only two days left together. It's surreal that in a matter of days, Jordan and I won't be able to sleep in together long after everyone else have gotten breakfast. What am I going to do without the nightly rituals of me and Courtney laughing till we cry over Vines? I won't be able to do silly accents that don't even make sense half of the time with Jessica every night. Who am I going to say "Get outta here" to when Kristy is back in her lovely Texas? Who will make me laugh like Hannah does when she gets in her sassy mood? What am I going to do without my crying buddy Stephanie and her sweet heart? My nights won't be the same with all of us unable to go to NYCUM and hang out with all the boys doing silly kid Christian songs and dances, getting superpowers from Cassidy, and watching Carvis just be insane. No one will ever give me a weirder comment than Alex did about my teeth being small. And how in the world am I supposed to live without Kelli, my Asian twin, being there for me everyday?

As I look back on this summer project, I see the growth that has happened to all of us. My first post was full of doubts and fears about my inadequacy when it comes to sharing the gospel with strangers. I never believed that I would be called to something like this and I was scared out of my mind about what I was getting myself into. At the end of that post, I prayed that I would be able to help at least one person come to know Christ -- and miracle of miracles, it happened! On this trip, I have talked to a lot of people from different religious backgrounds about their faith: Muslims, Jews, atheists, agnostics, even people who proclaimed to be "Christian" yet had no idea who Jesus is. This trip has widened my eyes to see that the idea and the message of the gospel is something that is almost unheard of in NYC. In every conversation, I had to rely on the Holy Spirit to speak through me. I honestly had no idea what I was doing half the time. But somehow, God used me to help a girl named Evelyn ask Jesus Christ into her life. I can't explain to you how amazing that feeling is! God believed I was adequate enough to help out this girl, who came from an atheist home, and teach her about the gospel. It blows my mind! I know that it was not my power, but the Holy Spirit through me, that saved Evelyn that day.

This journey in my life is quickly coming to an end. With two days left, it is finally sinking in that I will not be able to see more than half of these people for quite a long time. These dear friends of mine, who have walked with me through unbearably tough revelations to rejoice in His wonder, will soon part ways. It makes me sad to think about this but, I find joy in the fact that I have been able to experience all of this with them! We are a family. And they will always hold a special place in my heart.

Illumination

If I was to recount all that I have learned and experienced this past week, this blog post would probably be about 30 pages long. It is ridiculous all that God has revealed to me during these twelve days in NYC. My mind has been blown away literally every single day that I've been here. So expect to be seeing multiple posts in the next few days as I try and catch everyone up on this crazy adventure. For this first post, I really just want to share with everyone my intense love for the church that me and my team are attending during our time here in New York.

Two Sundays ago, before going to the afternoon service at Apostles Church, I was definitely skeptical of how much I would like it. Having the spectacular Fellowship Bible Church as my home church and the simply amazing Calvary Chapel as my church during school, I thought it was impossible to find a church that I would love as much as I love them. Boy, was I dead wrong! The worship there is nothing like I've experienced before. Something about the atmosphere there captured me! You could feel the Holy Spirit in that place as we all sang together with a band that just blew me away. And each sermon that I have heard has been so powerful and so relevant to me and my team's experiences as we go through this trip together. God blessed us so much with this church! I know I speak for everyone on my team when I say we long for Sunday to roll around so that we can worship at Apostles!

That first Sunday was filled with so many awe-inspiring moments. The sermon that was spoken that day was like it was written specifically for our group. The pastor, JR, spoke of the Holy Spirit and how He wants and works for people to know and love Jesus. As he spoke of the Spirit, JR went through different passages of 1 Corinthians which was really cool to hear. Before this service, our team talked quite a bit about how NYC is a lot like the city of Corinth in the Bible. So for the first church service that we all attended together to be about exactly what we have been talking about was really exciting! JR went through different verses, explaining that without the Holy Spirit, we would not be able to comprehend the gospel. The work to know and love Jesus is an ongoing process with the Spirit always assisting us.

 "We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us." -- 1 Corinthians 2:12

JR then went on to talk about our abilities to help bring others to Christ. He told us that we don't have to be the smartest, most eloquent people to help bring people to know about Jesus. We don't have to have all the answers for God to use us. When I heard those words, I knew that God was talking specifically to me and my team. Like I have said in my past two blog posts, I have a difficult time believing that I am capable of successfully leading others to Christ. The idea that it is not my own abilities that matter, but the Holy Spirit working THROUGH me, gave me such a sense of peace. I have to be confident that the Holy Spirit will help me articulate the message of the gospel and that He will help others to hear it. And the experiences that I have already had these past twelve days with speaking to strangers about the gospel clearly proves that God is in control! I have had so many great conversations with people that are hungry for something to give them hope! And that is all because of the Holy Spirit's power! Hopefully I will be able to blog about those experiences later this week because all of them are such testimonies to God's amazing timing and grace!

"Even if the delivery is bad, the message is SO good and will overpower the presentation of it!" -- JR

  

Be Still and Do Not Fear

I have now been in New York for about two days and it is still crazy to me that I'm here. I have already made amazing friendships that can only be because of God being with all of us on the New York City summer project! While Friday was an amazing day meeting everybody, I was filled with a lot of negative emotions on the plane ride here. All my doubts and fears kept repeating themselves over and over in my head: I can't do this. What was I thinking? I will fail. I am putting myself in a big city that I will not be able to escape. I can't possibly live there for a month! I'm insane to think I can do this. I could feel the devil attacking my heart through all of my insecurities and it frightened me more than I would like to admit. I sat there in my window seat and felt the fear take over my entire being. But then, one small thought came to me: Be still and do not fear. It was soft, subtle, and yet so overpowering. The devil wanted to stop me -- hinder me from believing in myself and my gifts. He filled my heart with fear, anxiety, restlessness, and doubt beyond belief. Yet, in spite of all my emotions, The Lord called me to this. The enemy cannot stop God's will and purpose for my life.

And meeting my brothers and sisters joining me in NYC only encouraged me to believe in myself and know that I am here for a reason. God wanted me here, on this summer project. The friendships I have made in the little time I have been here blows my mind. The connections that some of us share through similar disappointments and encouragements proves that God has placed His hand on this team. We understand each other and therefore lift each other up through our love for one another and our love for Our Father. The joy I feel in this community brings me to my knees before Him in praise! He is so good and He has so much in store for all of us during this month of service to Him.

"The kindness of Your love's pure light pierces through the darkest of all night and everything is possible now. For God is here and God is good." -- I Breathe You In, God by Bryan & Katie Torwalt

Yesterday as we went through orientation, we started by reading in Ezekiel chapter one which talks about Ezekiel's visions of God. Through all the weird descriptions and strange details, there is a great and powerful image of God's glory! It speaks of how God never turns, how He sees everything, and how His throne is above all things. Our Lord is not limited by geography, but is in all things! He is in control and His power is omnipotent. What a powerful message to start out this adventure! Ross, one of the staff members on our trip, ended this short lesson with a few wise words that really stuck with me: "It is important that, when you are thrown into a different environment, you know who your God is. You cannot allow this place or these situations to intimidate you because your God has called you here." When I heard those words I couldn't help but connect them to what happened on the plane ride here. It was amazing to be assured of His will and power!

I sit here on the second story balcony of Seaqua, the cute little deli place around the corner, with two of my sisters in Christ discussing the Bible, sharing our stories, and praising Our Father for bringing us together! This picture is proof that all of us were meant to come together and become a community in awe of His glory! Just wait for my next blog post readers, I know I am going to have some incredible stories to share with y'all. Because tomorrow we will all be going to a campus to speak to others about the gospel. I am doing everything I can to prepare myself for what is in store for me. Pray for me, everyone! I know I'll need it!

"But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way...At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food." -- Daniel 1:8&15

Divine Intervention

If you had told me a year ago that I would be going on a summer project to New York City, I would have told you you were crazy. The thought of going to a huge city and talking to random people about God terrified the crap out of me. Don't get me wrong, I have always believed in God. I have been fortunate enough to have the image and love of God poured into me my whole life by my parents and the great community I have been surrounded by. But, I have never been one to scream to the world about myself, let alone my faith. I am the definition of reserved and to put myself out into the world like this is something I could never have imagined. Whenever the idea of mission work such as this has presented itself, I looked at it as an impossibility for me. I have always told myself that I will never be called to that; I am not capable of leading people to Christ. In my mind, discipleship was passed on to those who had better "people skills" than me. What good would I do? The quiet and guarded person that I am could never succeed in teaching others about the Gospel. Little did I know, He was slowly pushing me to this very moment through all that has happened this past year.

The story of how I got to this point can be described in two words: divine intervention. For this summer, I was dead-set on staying in Chattanooga, getting an apartment, and taking summer school. My mind never ventured to the idea that I would do anything else. Despite my unwavering certainty, one after another, things got in the way of my plan. I went through about 4 different roommate possibilities that all eventually fell through. As hard as I tried, everything was going against me. I was frustrated and angry because it was always my plan to stay in Chattanooga. MY plan. So here I am, in January, still with a possibility of a roommate and I was 100% positive it would work out.

That's when I got a Facebook message from Jason Morris. He is on the staff that will be going on the NYC summer project and also a leader of Cru on the UTC campus. He was looking for anyone that was interested in this project and invited a bunch of people to his house to learn more about it. After thinking it over, I decided to go; not because I thought I would want to go to New York, that was the last thing on my mind. I honestly only went because I would have felt bad to say no to him. So I went, I listened to all he had to say, and to my shock, I felt a little tug on my heart. I couldn't understand it. I have been to NYC before visiting my brother Chris who lives there and yeah, it was cool, but I didn't leave there saying, "Oh my gosh, I have to go back!" I'm not very fond of big cities because crowds have always made me uncomfortable. And like I said, I didn't think I was capable of speaking to strangers about God. So when I seriously started thinking about actually going, I couldn't believe it.

After denying the idea for so long, it was suddenly pounding at my door. So I prayed. I remember specifically saying, "God, if you really want me to go on this thing, you can't let me have a roommate for the summer. You have to take that away from me." After praying for two days, God responded. The girl told me that she couldn't room with me anymore and I found myself speechless. I have never experienced God answering my prayers like that before. It was so obvious that God was telling me to stop fighting HIS plan for me. And now it's here. I leave tomorrow morning and it still hasn't sunk in that I am about to do the very thing that I thought was impossible for me. God sure has a funny way of shooting down your idea for your life, doesn't He?

Now that it is actually happening, I would just like to ask everyone to pray for me and my team. It's gonna be hard at times, but I know I am going to grow immensely through this journey. All I have been praying for is that I help one person. Just one. If I can do that, God will have proven me wrong once again. Only through the Holy Spirit can I do this because Lord knows I would fail miserably on my own. No matter what happens, I will be a different person when I leave NYC. And that scares the crap out of me, but in the most unbelievably amazing way.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -- Proverbs 3:5-6

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." -- Psalm 32:8