Divine Intervention

If you had told me a year ago that I would be going on a summer project to New York City, I would have told you you were crazy. The thought of going to a huge city and talking to random people about God terrified the crap out of me. Don't get me wrong, I have always believed in God. I have been fortunate enough to have the image and love of God poured into me my whole life by my parents and the great community I have been surrounded by. But, I have never been one to scream to the world about myself, let alone my faith. I am the definition of reserved and to put myself out into the world like this is something I could never have imagined. Whenever the idea of mission work such as this has presented itself, I looked at it as an impossibility for me. I have always told myself that I will never be called to that; I am not capable of leading people to Christ. In my mind, discipleship was passed on to those who had better "people skills" than me. What good would I do? The quiet and guarded person that I am could never succeed in teaching others about the Gospel. Little did I know, He was slowly pushing me to this very moment through all that has happened this past year.

The story of how I got to this point can be described in two words: divine intervention. For this summer, I was dead-set on staying in Chattanooga, getting an apartment, and taking summer school. My mind never ventured to the idea that I would do anything else. Despite my unwavering certainty, one after another, things got in the way of my plan. I went through about 4 different roommate possibilities that all eventually fell through. As hard as I tried, everything was going against me. I was frustrated and angry because it was always my plan to stay in Chattanooga. MY plan. So here I am, in January, still with a possibility of a roommate and I was 100% positive it would work out.

That's when I got a Facebook message from Jason Morris. He is on the staff that will be going on the NYC summer project and also a leader of Cru on the UTC campus. He was looking for anyone that was interested in this project and invited a bunch of people to his house to learn more about it. After thinking it over, I decided to go; not because I thought I would want to go to New York, that was the last thing on my mind. I honestly only went because I would have felt bad to say no to him. So I went, I listened to all he had to say, and to my shock, I felt a little tug on my heart. I couldn't understand it. I have been to NYC before visiting my brother Chris who lives there and yeah, it was cool, but I didn't leave there saying, "Oh my gosh, I have to go back!" I'm not very fond of big cities because crowds have always made me uncomfortable. And like I said, I didn't think I was capable of speaking to strangers about God. So when I seriously started thinking about actually going, I couldn't believe it.

After denying the idea for so long, it was suddenly pounding at my door. So I prayed. I remember specifically saying, "God, if you really want me to go on this thing, you can't let me have a roommate for the summer. You have to take that away from me." After praying for two days, God responded. The girl told me that she couldn't room with me anymore and I found myself speechless. I have never experienced God answering my prayers like that before. It was so obvious that God was telling me to stop fighting HIS plan for me. And now it's here. I leave tomorrow morning and it still hasn't sunk in that I am about to do the very thing that I thought was impossible for me. God sure has a funny way of shooting down your idea for your life, doesn't He?

Now that it is actually happening, I would just like to ask everyone to pray for me and my team. It's gonna be hard at times, but I know I am going to grow immensely through this journey. All I have been praying for is that I help one person. Just one. If I can do that, God will have proven me wrong once again. Only through the Holy Spirit can I do this because Lord knows I would fail miserably on my own. No matter what happens, I will be a different person when I leave NYC. And that scares the crap out of me, but in the most unbelievably amazing way.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -- Proverbs 3:5-6

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." -- Psalm 32:8